A baby, people. I'm having a human baby.
So, I just thought I'd address some of the most common questions I get, and maybe my sarcastic remarks (that I think. Not that I say).
I fully understand what people are asking when they say "do you know what you're having?", but my smart-alec mind always wants to retort "well a mini human, I hope. A dinosaur would be kinda hard to birth".
So, not a question but: "you're huuuugggee!" Yes, usually said with that kind of emphasis. Oh, and you just made my enemy list. Mostly said by someone who has not been pregnant before, and occasionally by someone who I guess by the grace of God forgot what it's like.
"How are you feeling?" Really? "Like a day at the spa. On the inside". I've got little fingers, toes, elbows and knees prodding my insides. My hips and back and skin are stretching. I feel like I'm in a sauna, even on a cool day. I'm always hungry. Not to mention the leaking. From everywhere. TMI? I know. But you asked.
"Maybe you're having twins". Look, I know I'm getting big and all, but now you're just being mean.
And now for the real reason I wrote this post: "You do know how to prevent this, right?" No. Would you explain it to me, in detail, and give me cliff notes? Apparently, even in our 'christian' circles, there are limits. Four children is borderline Amish. I'm actually embarrassed for you if you ask me this question. It's just.... rude. Two children is perfect, especially if there's a boy and girl. Three children- not too bad. Four? You just need to stop. First of all, I love all my children. If I had stopped at Parker, we wouldn't have Caedence. If I had stopped at the "perfect two", wouldn't have Jolie. And if we had stopped at Jolie- well who knows all the blessings this fourth one will bring. Does this mean we're trying to rival the Duggars? Certainly not. But I'm also not limiting what God can do.
Oh, and to answer the real question, yes, I do. And believe me, we've tried.
Ok, to end on a nice one- "You're so tiny." God bless you, you naiive kiss up. Be my bff?
